Ambivalence

am·biv·a·lence: n. 
the state of having mixed feelings
or contradictory ideas about something or someone.

Lately, I have been suffering ambivalent feelings about this space.

You know the questions – “Why am I doing this?” “Who cares?” “What do I have to share?”

Struggling to find topics and images that are worthwhile.

But a strange thing happened. As part of the move from my self-hosted site to this new address, I am working my way through all 470+ blog posts, updating internal links. And as I traveled back in time, through post after post, I realized that I am proud of what I have created here. Proud of the words and images I have shared; proud of the growth that I have exhibited, both as a photographer and a writer.

My future blogging direction may still be uncertain. Determining what I want for this site going forward into 2014 is still unknown.

But regardless – I will always have this – what I have created here and shared with you for the past three years.

And it has been good.

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Posted on December 19, 2013, in Blogging and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. It has been extraordinary, Brenda! Extraordinary!
    I am so grateful..always will be, to have found your here in this space..for forging a friendship over the internet, here in this space, for the constant inspiration I find, here in this space. And, now, I look forward to seeing where you will take your work..where you will take us..on this next stage in the adventure. Where ever it is, whatever you do, I will always be grateful.

  2. I’ve always enjoyed your blog, Brenda. I find inspiration, humor, and connection here. I hope you will continue to share your creative journey with us. I admire your patience in going through all the past posts to update — I’m grateful that you did, as there are several links I plan to revisit. Thank you and hope to find you here in 2014!

  3. I’ve been asking myself the same questions too . . . you should be proud of yourself. Your images takes me to places that I seem unable to see with my own eyes and I love my visits here.

  4. Yes, I’m glad you looked back because what you produce here is of the highest quality and inspiring to so many. Blogs evolve and grow and have ups and downs, just like life. Take a short break over the winter solstice and you will be inspired again, I guarantee it.

  5. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back, or take a time out, but I sure am glad that you looked back at your work. You are truly a gifted artist, and I am sure that whatever you decide to pursue, you will succeed. I do hope that you’ll decide to be here at least once in a while. I surely would miss you.

    I wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a bright, beautiful new Year.

  6. Hi, Brenda. I’ve been distracted with family visits and haven’t visited you in a while.

    I like your image. I think it fits with the theme of ambiguity: Is it light or is it dark? Is it defined or is it blurred? It seems to be in-between.

    Re. your musings about the future, I have some questions for you to consider:
    -What do you do with your photos in addition to posting them on your blog? Do you print them? Do you mat and frame them? Do you hang them on your walls? Do you enter them in shows? Have you created a photo book, a calendar, note cards?
    -If your were not afraid and if you had lots of confidence, what would you like to have happen to your photos?

    Your photo friend, Anita 🙂

  7. I feel the ambivalence in my own blog at times too. I understand this feeling. I find it comes and goes and the beauty of a blog is it can sit and wait until the ambivalent moments pass. They seem to. Sometimes blogging seems so tedious. Sometimes speaking with images more so than words helps-and yours speak and speak and speak.
    Hope you can figure it out. I find when I step away, I miss my friends, for they are real-you are a friend-tho’ we’ve never seen one another.
    Lovely ambivalent image-texture adding to that subtle shadow.

  8. You should be proud–your work is amazing. Beyond that, you inspire and support others. The screenshots/tutorials you provide for your Texture Tuesday submissions are truly “above and beyond.” You are an inspiration–perhaps more than you realize…

  9. I am so glad you’ve made this space!!

I greatly appreciate your comments!

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