I have written ad nauseam about my love of shadows as my photo subject of choice. And the fact that this obsession leaves me at the mercy of the sun. And what this will mean as I search for inspiration on those days when sunshine and shadows are scarce.
Having been sun-inspired and shadow-drunk, what will be the next subject that will cross my path, reach in and tug at my heart? What will come knocking at the door and carry me away? What do I do when my subject of choice is no longer available?
I am a maker of lists. There is nothing sweeter in the world than crossing a completed item off my to-do list. I like tasks and assignments. I like knowing the next step in the plan, where to go next, having a map for the journey ahead. On a sunny day, when shadows abound, the images come easy. I know who I am as a photographer – I am Shadow Girl, seeker of contrast, of the entanglement of light and shade.
It should come as no surprise that I am not comfortable with uncertainty. With the not knowing. With stepping out the door with no plan of action. When the sky is the soft milky gray of a well-worn Tshirt and the light is diffuse and shadows are non-existent. When I can no longer count on the interplay of light and shade to be my muse.
No matter how many times in the past I have experienced that spark of creativity, that jolt of inspiration, I fear that it will never come again. That I will never take another photograph of worth. That I have reached the limits of my artistic journey; the end of the line; the drying up of the wellspring of my imagination.
But, I walk out the door, wondering what this day will become. With no map, no lists, no plan and, yes, with the fear as well.
It became a day of exploration; a day of discovery. A day believing that inspiration would come as long as I stayed open to its arrival.
And there it was. A window tinted gold. Diamond shards cutting its surface. Lines radiating from the dark center. Bricks shimmering in the pebbled roughness. Questions asked and a story told.
My first image honored with a Flickr “explore” designation.
All from cracked glass. And the fear. And the willingness to explore.